Body image and self-worth

I will have to mention that being male, I am sometimes 'shushed' when it comes to this subject (though it does not make my opinions invalid). It's simple to say and prove that our school yard days shape how we see ourselves. How people saw you, what they said to you and what tone they used, plays a huge role when we look in the mirror or at that candid picture from a party. Being happy with who you are is easier said than done.

We all have our insecurities, the question is do our insecurities have us. Diet commercials, products, books etc. are all over the place and they are making a fortune off of the insecurities that most of us have had at one point of our lives.

Now I can't mention insecurities without mentioning celebrities. Botox, tanning booths, implants (hair, dental or silicon variety) are just a few of the measures that celebrities take to look as good as they are "supposed" to look. Trust me when I say that it doesn't stop with those treatments alone. Most of us do realize that even the most attractive models(male and female) have extra work done (some have more than others) after their pictures are taken. Trust me again when I say, the right photographer and right photoshop tools and anyone(!!) can look gorgeous. The question I have to ask, when are we looking at real people?

I could easily list a handful of people who have gone way too far with "cosmetic improvements", with the irony coming in when they look worse than how they started. This obsession with looking 21 again or having perfect features doesn't make logical sense to me.

People associate their looks with how good they felt at a certain age or how much attention their younger rival gets. THAT part makes sense, the responsibilities for most 20 year olds are no-where near the same as their 35 year old counterpart. With that in mind it makes perfect sense to link ease of mind with self-attractiveness. "Oh, life was so much easier when I was 20" turns into "I was so much happier with how I looked back then". This example doesn't exactly work for the 14 year old who is crying into their pillow after being rejected and insulted for the umpteenth time but that 14 year old does help enforce that, self-worth never leaves the schoolyard.

Not all of us can afford personal trainers, tanning booths or photoshop artists. What we can afford is to give a smile out every once and awhile. Inner beauty does become outer beauty. We all need to learn to understand and accept our "flaws" for what they are, something that sets us apart from everyone else. They don't make us ugly, they don't make us undesirably to the ones we desire, they make us who we are.

Does my puffy red hair (which I am never happy with btw) or the muffin-top making its way over my belt line define who I am? only if I obsess over it to the point that people think I have a problem with it. Will I shave off my red hair so I don't have to worry about it? hmm I can't say no here because I actually shaved it all of once(to support a friend with leukemia) and wouldn't you know it, I wanted it all back only days after it was all gone. Will I be more attractive when my muffin-top is gone? that all depends on if I keep my inner beauty.

Ok, I will admit, that last line was kind of, ok very, cheesy but it doesn't make it untrue. The best advice I can give to everyone is to be happy with who you are, even if it takes awhile to find out who you truly are.