Connected relationships

I adore so many types of women. I even prefer their company over the company of my own gender, lets get that out of the way right now. I will admit though, there are some situations where I don't want the opposite sex to be a part of (if you say otherwise, I won't believe you).

I have been told by more than I few women, that I am a nice guy. I was under the assumption that girls like nice guys(nice simply meaning that you care about someone). However, not too long ago I was talking to a female friend of mine and I made her cringe when I started talking about how guys should be caring and sympathetic to their partners needs and vice-versa. To be honest her reaction threw me off and confused me. She then proceeded to explain to me what she wanted from her boyfriend and what she was willing to do for him... to each their own I guess. Is the expression 'nice guys finish last' true in relationships as well?

I understand that each person has their own preferences and views on relationship and I'm not going to preach that my way is the only way that makes logical sense. - This is where I insert some very well suited song lyrics

~Sarah Slean : Looking For Someone
There’s got to be one face
And one pair of eyes
That will light me on fire
When their looking in mine
...
looking for someone
Who’s looking for me.

When I am looking for a romantic partner I do have certain criteria. Now most of them are based on personality, ideals, life style and general intelligence. The one thing that I will not accept is smoking. Before I get ripped out for not mentioning outer beauty, I won't lie and say that I don't look at physical appearance, if I like what I see, I like what I see. I am obligated to give an educated warning about people though, don't judge a book by its cover those looks can be deceiving. What matters in the end, is how compatible we are. If our ideals clash, the relationship will fail.

People continue to tell me that long-term relationship are all about compromise, I honestly want to ask them how much they have compromised. I will agree that relationships do involve a fair balance of give and take for the most part. I would never force my partner to give up or forget about something that they love just because I told them to and I expect my partner to extend that same courtesy. The only exception to that would be if my partners or my own health was in danger (for example, an allergy to peanuts or cats). Forcing someone to give something up for no other reason than the fact that you don't enjoy it, is not love.(*I feel obligated to add- continuing to do something that your partner has shown disdain for, isn't love either) If you want to point to the smoking line, I'll point you right back to the danger to health line.

When you get married and/or decide that you want to spend the rest of your lives together you should understand that you are now a couple, not 2 separate 1's. You are separate individuals but your life is together. You need to know and understand this before getting married. What you do or don't do may have a substantial impact on the one that you promised to be loyal to. That social contract should factor into decisions that are made. I'm not saying that every choice has to be made together, only the ones that effect both of you. If a confrontation arises due to a decision that was made, explain (calmly) why it was made and don't lie. Loyalty, honesty and communication are vital to all relationships, unless you have a mutual understanding that states otherwise.